China has UPPED their Propaganda Game, Now Hiring Chicago Bros to Praise "Chinese Democracy" on State Media

(Shanghaiist)The annual political event known as the “Two Sessions” has now kicked off in Beijing. If you are unfamiliar with what these parliamentary meetings are all about, not to worry, China’s official Xinhua news agency has employed some foreigners to help explain them to you.

First comes correspondent Colin Linneweber who gives a view of “Chinese democracy in the eyes of an American,” reading out sentences like “It’s widely acknowledged that a key to China’s success is its system of democracy” and “The people as masters of the country is the essence and core of socialist democracy.”

Listen some call me a traitor for choosing to live in China, but there’s a line I won’t cross. Like being paid to go on Chinese State media and gush about how great Chinese Democracy is ( I say this now that I have a steady job, but honestly back when I was pretty broke and working freelance jobs, who knows?). Loving this guy’s “great lakes” accent though. If Barstool Chicago is looking for a foreign correspondent this may be your guy. Ya he may be lacking in the integrity department but judging by the WSD fiasco I’m not sure if that is a high priority for you guys. Apparently he has worked some freelance gigs with CBS Sports and Yardbarker so at least he has some experience.

Now if you’re wondering what I WOULD and HAVE done for money in China, that’s a long list that I’m not particularly proud of.

– Mall Santa

– Pretended to be a foreign businessman at a trade fair
– Taught kindergarten
– Gave a talk to rich Chinese people promising them US green cards if they invested in American real estate projects.
– Pretended to be the operations manager of a fertility clinic.

– Worked as the mascot of a Karaoke joint.
– Worked as the token white employee at a Chinese environmental design firm where they would trot me out at meeting be like “Look! We have a white guy!”

So ya, not the most glamorous list but have you seen me ever on TV talking about how great Chinese democracy? Didn’t think so.*

*If any Chinese news networks need a puppet hit me up if the pay is good.